DEAR ABBY: "Lost My Appetite in South Carolina" (June 1) walked out of a wedding reception after waiting for a delayed dinner and suffering through the DJ's "loud, deafening rock 'n' roll music." You chided the writer and suggested he should have asked the hosts to lower the volume somewhat. It's my experience this doesn't work. Insanely loud music is part of the contemporary American culture.

I have walked out of at least two wedding receptions because of loud music. A wedding reception is supposed to be an event to enjoy and talk to people. Something is amiss when people are invited to a wedding and become a captive audience, forced to put up with intolerable conditions. Walking out is a reasonable response.

- PAUL IN CHESTERFIELD, MO.

DEAR PAUL: It was impossible to turn a deaf ear to the "volume" of letters I received supporting "Lost" for the reasons you expressed. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Spoiled brides and loopy parents treat weddings like Broadway productions. The guests are just extras in the extravaganza. If people have been invited for dinner and it isn't being served, they are justified in leaving.

I went to a wedding and was shocked to learn dinner wouldn't be served until five hours after the reception began because "the bride preferred to dance on an empty stomach." My husband and I left our gift and took our empty stomachs to a restaurant. We heard later the mother of the bride was angry because more than a dozen guests also left before dinner, while the bride danced merrily on.

- J.G. IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR ABBY: You missed an opportunity to point out to your readers that special dinners are a time for family, friends and new acquaintances to renew, rekindle and update their lives and relationships. It might be wise for future wedding planners to instruct the DJ or band to play soft music - or none at all - during dinnertime. Remember, the "bash" goes on after dinner and lasts for hours.

- CATHY LEE IN GROSSE POINT FARMS, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: The comfort of one's guests must be considered in planning an event. I think it's perfectly acceptable for a guest to leave before dinner, stating, "I'm sorry, but the music has become too loud for me to stay."

- VALUES MY HEARING IN N.Y.