DEAR ABBY: My 89-year-old mother has always been difficult. She not only never loved me, she treated me as if she didn't like me, either. She told me she didn't send me a birthday card on my birthday last month because "What was it supposed to say - what a 'wonderful' person you are?" My children visibly winced when they heard her say it and worked extra-hard to make sure my day was special.

Abby, I have cancer. My prognosis is questionable. I was supposed to have been dead seven years ago - but I'm managing. My problem is, I recently was told that my mother has been keeping in touch with a single friend of mine from years ago, and they are making plans for her to marry my husband when I die! A few other so-called "friends" are in on this. This last betrayal is incredibly hurtful. Where do I go from here?

- J.C. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR J.C.: Where do you go from here? As far away from your toxic mother as possible - and on to a long, and hopefully complete, remission!

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and 12-year-old grandson "Patrick" visit me on Sundays. Patrick watches TV in my office.

I was recently looking at the history on my Web browser after he had been there, and I noticed that Patrick had been visiting free porn sites and chat rooms on my computer.

I am disappointed that he has been looking at pornography and that he has put my computer at risk for viruses, etc. Should I talk to his parents? To him? Or should I ignore it and disable my computer when he visits?

- GRANDMA ON ALERT

DEAR GRANDMA: You should do all three - so that Patrick's parents can make certain that when he uses a computer at home he can be supervised. And if the parents haven't yet had "the talk" with their son, suggest they place it at the top of their agenda.