DEAR ABBY: I am being married in October and asked my best friend of 19 years to be my maid of honor. "Brianna" likes to dye the bottom of her hair red. I asked her to take the red out of her hair for the wedding, but she flat-out refused! When I told her that it is MY wedding, and I don't want any red hair because it won't match my color scheme, her exact words were, "I don't care."

Am I wrong for asking Brianna to remove the dye? How do I get her to realize this is my wedding, and I don't want to be upstaged! Please help me.

- SEEING RED IN MARYLAND

DEAR SEEING RED: Either you should have picked another color scheme for the production, or chosen a cast member who was suitably mousy that she wouldn't dim your spotlight. Please note that I am using theatrical terms because you have lost sight of what a wedding really should be. What a shame.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20, and my life seems to be going nowhere. I graduated from high school two years ago and have put off going to college. I am obese and have no willpower to exercise to get healthy. In high school I had few friends, none of whom keep in touch with me.

I recently bumped into a former guy friend at a store. We were close during my junior year, but he ignored me in my senior year. At the store, he didn't speak to me, which was hurtful. It reminded me of the pain I felt back in school. I always felt so alone.

My dream is to be an actress, go back to school and lose weight. Can you offer me some guidance?

- GOING CRAZY IN PHOENIX

DEAR GOING CRAZY: I'm glad you wrote, because you may suffer from long-term depression. Please schedule an appointment with a doctor and tell him or her exactly what you have described to me.

If you want to be an actress, see what acting classes are available in Phoenix and if there is any regional theater. Not all actresses have to be skinny.

And one more thing. The former classmate you saw in the store may not have seen you, which is why he didn't say hello, or he may not have matured since graduation. This is not a reflection of what you are worth - it's a reflection on him.